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Archive for August, 2008

Aug
24

Practical Sources of Happiness

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We can find happiness right in our own home, our workplace, in school, in the company of our friends, etc. It is up to us to find the ways and means to achieve that happiness each of us seek and long for. However, it is essential to recognize that there is no one absolute way to achieve happiness. People may have different ideas with regard to the ways of achieving happiness.

The following classifications are perceived by many people as sources of happiness:
(1) Family and friends
(2) Wealth
(3) Position/Rank
(4) Educational Achievement
(5) Fame (i.e. politics, arts, sports)

(1) HAPPINESS IN FAMILY AND FRIENDS

The very first place where happiness dwells is right in our own homes. We find happiness just by being with our family – our parents, spouse, children and grandchildren. In fact, they are our source of strength and inspiration. Having a harmonious home life gives us happiness – one that we truly cherish and treasure.
True friends are also a source of happiness. The support we get from them goes a long way in helping us to get by in times of troubles. Somehow, friends make our life complete.

2) HAPPINESS IN WEALTH

A lot of people associate wealth with happiness. Almost everywhere in the world, people are preoccupied in the acquisition of wealth. They look upon wealth as the main source of happiness. To some, wealth and happiness are synonymous.

Not that we should despise the rich and the famous or discourage others from aspiring to be so. There is nothing wrong with dreaming of becoming rich just as long as we acknowledge that wealth has limitations. Furthermore, our priorities must be clear from the very start. Clearly, we must know what should rank first in order of priorities lest we spend our days in this world meaninglessly and without hope. The pursuit of material riches should not be on top of our priority list.

How many times have we heard of people with millions of money but are willing to give it away just to have peace of mind? They live in a state of fear, that is, fear of losing their wealth through robbery or theft. They also fear for their life and the lives of those they love. These fears may even lead to sleepless nights, stress, tension, mental anguish, heart attack and death.
Understanding and accepting that happiness has nothing to do with the accumulation of wealth is perhaps the most liberating realization we can ever come to.

3) HAPPINESS IN RANK AND POSITION

Can real happiness be achieved through the attainment of high rank or position in society?
To many, the answer is “yes.” For most people, having a high-ranking position is synonymous to power. Such persons would have the power to rule and lead. If they become “good leaders,” they would be able to lead based on sound moral values and good work ethics. In return, they would earn their people’s trust, obedience, support, loyalty and cooperation. Eventually, they would find happiness and satisfaction doing their job.
However, any person who is entrusted with authority and abuses it would definitely be responsible for misuse of power. His position would only be a source of misery, as he will be confronted with issues such as corruption and problems like loss of public trust, public revolt, coups d’etat, etc.
History can speak for itself. How many unwanted rulers, kings, emperors, and presidents have been overthrown? A good example is former Philippine President Ferdinand Marcos, who ruled the country for 20 long years, but his reign came to an unfortunate end. He was “thrown” out of his own country by his own people and spent years thereafter in exile.

4) EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS

Can earning the highest level of education such as doctorate degrees give happiness? For people who derive happiness from learning, knowledge is power. Some successful people have attained high levels of education.
However, we hear about professional people who are successful in their own fields and yet feel miserable and depressed because they feel that something is missing in their life. We hear of doctors being sued for malpractice and negligence, of judges committing suicide, and of many other sad stories that are hard to believe but are actually happening to professional people. Does education really guarantee happiness?

5) HAPPINESS IN FAME

Fame is also associated with happiness. In sports and various careers, it is translated to victory, winning, and attaining the status of a celebrity.  Are famous men and women happy?
Let’s take the case of sportsmen. They practically devote their whole lifetime practicing to be the best at their chosen sport. However, sports can sometimes be so stressful, especially when they are carried to the extreme. Imagine the kind of pressure sportsmen have to go through to win over a game. To cope with high expectations, they take prohibited drugs to have the stamina and endurance required in their chosen field!
Consider the despair, embarrassment, shame, and ridicule that they have to endure whenever they lose a game! So, let us ask ourselves – can a life exposed to such pressures and humiliation be a truly happy life?
The story of the famous football player, Diego Maradona, is a very good example. For a time, his name was everywhere – in media and on almost all advertisements. Football earned him “wealth” and “fame.” But what caused his downfall? He used cocaine during an Italian league match! Consequently, he was arrested.
Let’s focus our attention in the field of entertainment, specifically film and stage actors, singers, dancers, etc. Is the world of entertainment a source of true happiness?
It is surprising how many people still equate happiness with fun. The truth is that fun and happiness have little or nothing in common. Fun is short-lived while happiness is a more lasting and meaningful emotion.

Going to a ball game, watching a movie or television are fun activities that may help us relax. We “escape” and temporarily forget our problems. After the movie or any fun activities, reality sets in and we confront the same problems. There are things that do not and could not bring any real happiness to the person because their positive effects last only as long as the fun lasts.
Let us analyze fun and entertainment around us. It is a well-known fact that these so-called celebrities have practically everything that “seems to spell happiness” – wealth, glamour, fancy cars, expensive homes, etc. However, it is also no secret that beneath all their fame are stories about depression, alcoholism, drug addiction, children out of wedlock, broken marriages, extra marital affairs, etc. It is said that Elvis Presley, the undisputed King of Rock n Roll, died of drug overdose.

For many, the future is bleak. The continuing escalation of prices, natural and man-made calamities, terrorism, local and global strife, family problems, poverty, criminality, famines and other crises do bring desperation and hopelessness.
What they believe as solutions to their problems turned out to be abysmal frustrations. Sad to say, many have become withdrawn and apathetic to their problems. Some have become indifferent and unconcerned about what could happen next because they have done everything in their power to succeed, but to no avail.

Can we still find happiness in such a depressing situation? Yes, it is still possible to find happiness in such dire predicaments! What happens around us is largely beyond our control, but the way we choose to react is within our control. In short, even in the midst of difficulties in life, we can still make happiness happen; that is, if we want and choose to make it happen. True enough, life is what we make it!  Isn’t this a wonderful discovery?

Categories : Finding Happiness
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The metabolism process may be viewed as complicated by some people, but nothing is complicated if you know how it works.

Detailing the Process
When a person eats too much, the body will gain more calories. This will cause one’s metabolism to slow down, especially if not acted upon.

Let’s look at this scenario. You are eating your favorite chocolate, may it be a cake, ice cream or a bar. This is a good source of energy because a chocolate bar contains more calories than an apple. The energy that you get is good for the body and for your health.

But it can become bad if you eat too much and the calorie intake is more than what is required to develop one’s muscles. The latter is needed to keep up with your metabolic rate and daily energy needs. The extra calories would then be converted into fat.

The unwanted fat not only causes the metabolism to slow down, it also causes the body weight to increase. This is the reason why a person should always be careful as to the food that he/she puts inside the body. It is best to opt for rations that would help increase one’s metabolic rate.

Spicy Food
Not everybody would want this type of food, but are you willing to try if you’ll know that this will help your body speed up its metabolism?

There are many spices available in the market. Chili, for example, can boost your metabolic rate by up to 50 percent in about three hours after you’ve eaten such. The reason for this is because eating chili will increase you heart rate and, auspiciously, will cause you to sweat that is vital when your aim is to get rid of those unnecessary fats and likewise, increase your metabolism.

It is just imperative to note that some spicy foods contains fats and calories, so you better check out the content of each supplement before swallowing them in.

Categories : Health
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Aug
22

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Categories : Success
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No one on this earth is devoid of inner conflicts. True, there are a lucky few who have escaped having parents who screwed them up, but they still have inner conflicts nonetheless. It is a common notion in sociology, history, and even in modern psychobabble that the past affects the present. But is it really just psychobabble? Does Psychodynamic Therapy really work? Would it work on you?Psychodynamic Therapy was developed as a modified version of Psychoanalysis. Psychoanalysis was developed by the oft-mentioned and highly notorious Sigmund Freud. You may have heard of him when people refer to sex drives, but his theories were more than that.

Psychoanalysis is the process where the therapist lets you talk and talk and talk, while he probes and tries to understand you and tries to let you understand for yourself how the events in the past shape your inner climate in the present. The only difference with Psychodynamic Therapy from Psychoanalysis is that Psychodynamic Therapy does not involve a heavy emphasis on dream analysis and symbolism.

Yes it’s true that the past experiences influence your current attitudes. You may have a pattern of tuning out your wife when she nags because she reminds you of your mother when she does that. Or you may be overly affectionate with your sons because your father never hugged you when you were young.

When we were in our teens, we experienced a lot of conflicts because of the changes inside us. It became worse for us when our parents would offend us in their attempt to discipline us. This hurt, this pain, sometimes get locked in the deepest corners of our mind in a process called repression. This is what Psychodynamic Therapy seeks to recover and eventually make you understand, with the ultimate goal of freeing you from toxic emotions and unhealthy patterns.

Psychodynamic Therapy does not stop the moment you understand yourself. That is only the start. The goal of the process is to use this understanding to bring yourself to a place of healing. Understanding is step one. Accepting that these happened is step two. Processing your feelings, reconciling yourself to these events and making steps to change your patterns form the rest of the equation.

Psychodynamic Therapy may not be recommended for everyone by the therapists, but I believe that taking the concepts within the theories behind it and applying it for self-healing can be an enriching experience. To be able to metamorphose into a better person, you must know and understand yourself. Psychodynamic Therapy can show you how.

Categories : Miscellaneous
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If you know of a relative or a friend undergoing the crisis of being substance dependent, then you will need to be aware of certain considerations you might have to take to help him/her get through the process of withdrawal and recovery.

Getting over a substance can prove to be yet the most challenging experience for him or her. It’s best that you are there to provide the utmost support he/she needs. Below are some suggestions…

1.    Stay with the person. You don’t really have to say or do anything. Sometimes your mere presence is enough for reassurance. Being there counts.

2.    While the person is experiencing withdrawal, always comfort him/her by reminding that the symptoms are only temporary. Gradually they will disappear.

3.    Be aware that safety is the most important goal towards recovery. Substance abusers usually resort to taking in these things because they think it gives them relief from their problems. Without these substances, the person is faced with a situation he/she cannot escape from. At this point, suicides are highly probable.

4.    Be conscious of your own response. The person may have bouts of irritability or anger. Its best that you keep your own judgment objective. Don’t respond in anger or irritability also. What that person needs is understanding.

5.    If the person is hallucinating (seeing or hearing things that are not really there), be sure to present reality. Never ask them to talk about these hallucinations. It would be the same as acknowledging that these hallucinations are real when they’re not.

6.    Let the person express his/her feelings or concerns. Don’t interrupt or give advice. Simply listen. By doing so you might come to understand why he/she resulted to using a substance to cope with the stress he/she is going through.

Although a lot of the recovery depends on the person, it would mean a lot if he/she has significant others involved in the goal of overcoming substance dependence. You just might prove to be a vital instrument in making someone’s life better.

Categories : Miscellaneous
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Categories : Success
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Aug
19

Two Crucial Steps to Maintain Abundance

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You have a stable career, a well-provided family, a luxurious home and vehicles of choice. Yet at night, you often wake up to nightmares of losing all the abundance you currently enjoy. Subconsciously, you know that your current state cannot sustain the abundant, comfortable lifestyle that you and your family have.Well, you need not worry, for the answer is easy. This article offers two simple steps to put your mind at ease and protect your current lifestyle to maintain your abundance.

Step # 1: Grow your Assets.

Abundance happens when your net worth is positive. In order to create a positive net worth, your assets (tangible possessions) must be greater than your liabilities (obligations to financial institutions, creditors, or individuals). However, in real life, understanding the concept of assets and liabilities is not that simple.

Assets, by Webster’s definition, are anything of material value or usefulness. While one’s physically fit appearance is not an asset by this definition, a car, a house and a yacht is. But wait! Mr. Kiyosaki defines assets differently, and from the perspective of abundance, his is probably more significant.

An asset, for the author of best-selling book about the Two Dads, is something that will generate income. Therefore, a 12-bedroom house for a family of four qualifies to be a liability rather than an asset. Just the same, owning a Boxster and a Z-4 at the same time is practically a liability. They maybe viewed as “excess assets” because their existence in your balance sheet does not bring income (or address a basic human need) to you. Furthermore, having “excess assets” will compel you to spend in maintaining them. If they had no income-generating purpose to begin with, then the maintenance spent on them also add to your liabilities.

Therefore, to maintain abundance, you have to ensure that all your “assets” are generating income or supports your existence as a human being. This principle is not really against letting you enjoy the money that you worked for. It is simply limiting the excesses (liabilities) that will not maintain your abundance and may even contribute to your scarcity.

Step # 2: Get Out of Jobs That Do Not Maintain Abundance.

Day in and day out, you know that your job and monthly income will not maintain your abundance. It can for the first month after your raise; and then new loans or credit card expenses come in and renders your pay short, just like the last time. So you start to think, how can I maintain my abundance?

You can by getting out of the rat race. Being tied up from 8 am to 5 pm (or even 8 am the next day!) will not allow you thinking time to grow the wealth that you currently have. So, use your time wisely, while you are in the race. Learn business and people management from the theoretical and actual training of your job. Create a network of contacts that will be useful for your future endeavors. Invest in high-risk funds while you have a job and salary to fall back on, and reap the rewards as soon as you get out of the rat race. See the investments that you created grow while you sit back, relax, and never need to sound the alarm clock at 7 am, ever again.

Stay employed to create abundance, get out of the rat race to maintain it.

In summary, maintain your abundance by doing two things: grow your assets and get out of the rat race. Move forward in maintaining and growing your abundance, today!

Categories : General
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Marriage is the ultimate relationship you could ever enter. It’s more than a bond between a man and woman, it’s a joining of souls. With the current trend of marriages dissolving nowadays, especially because of infidelity, the question that nags both men and women the world over is: will it last? Whether you’re legally married or just cohabiting, admit it, the question of keeping your partner faithful is tugging at your heart. But what exactly does it take to keep your man or your woman?

Is it keeping your muscles so tight that your neck looks like it would pop a vein any moment now? Is it keeping your nose at an angle that would burst balloons? The good news is, it actually doesn’t have to be as costly as any of that. The better news is that one way to cheat-proof your marriage is actually so simple that you can do it effortlessly. With practice, that is.

And what is that, you ask? It’s having realistic expectations.

One of the causes that a partner will want to stray is that the emotional climate in the marriage is already stifling. One major factor that encourages a suffocating climate in a marriage is that one or both spouses have undue demands on the other, that the other simply can’t meet because it’s not in his or her nature. The root of this is that reality does not line up with the partner’s expectations of the other, and vice-versa. If you seek to keep your spouse from straying, you have to remember to keep it real. Have realistic expectations.

How do you acquire realistic expectations? Simple. The basic thing to keep in mind is that no one person can meet all your needs, all the time. This simply means that you shouldn’t let yourself believe that once you’re married, you will be in total bliss. This simply means that you have to realize that there is no such thing as a totally perfect fit to your personality. Your spouse may want to watch sports sometimes, and you won’t be able to pry him away from that, even if you really, really ache to go shopping.

So what can you do to encourage having realistic expectations? You have to remind yourself constantly to give your spouse some space. If your spouse cannot meet your need now, use your own emotional resources, or go look for a same-sex friend to keep you occupied for the moment. Learn not to resent those times when he or she cannot provide what you need. But in case you do resent it, always remember to go back and talk with your spouse how you felt, in a calm and rational way. You can talk about how to work around filling each other’s needs according to each other’s capacities.

Another thing you have to remember is that your personal happiness is your own responsibility. You are the captain of your ship. You may not hold the actions of others, or how circumstances will go, but you do hold the decision of how you’ll react to these actions or circumstances.

You simply cannot expect another person to keep you absolutely happy all the time. When you do that, you are turning into an emotional vampire, feeding into someone’s emotional resources just to keep yourself emotionally stable.

What you can do to remedy this is to read up on how to boost your self-esteem, on how to be emotionally self-sufficient. You have to develop emotional tools to cope with feelings of insecurity or instability. You cannot expect that people will adjust to you all the time, or that your spouse will baby you forever. You have to realize that a relationship is a mutual effort, that you have to put in as much as you take out of it. You cannot give what you don’t have. So if you have such low self-esteem and low to zero love for yourself, you cannot expect to be able to have the emotional reserves with which to nurture your spouse.

So what is that bottom line to cheat-proof your marriage? Keep a healthy emotional climate in your partnership. This starts by keeping healthy expectations towards your spouse, which starts in keeping yourself emotionally secure, and keeping your self-esteem balanced.

Categories : Finding Happiness
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If you are interested in entering the life coaching profession, it is important that you first know the basics of this profession.  The first thing you have to do is to know all about your target market.  You just can’t tell the world that you are a “life coach” without knowing the needs and wants of your target population.

Why People Need a Life Coach

Just as people need a dentist to fix their teeth, people also need a life coach to fix their lives.  No one is exempted from having problems, whether it be emotional, financial, spiritual, social or physical.  The only thing that makes each problem distinct from another is the way people perceive, manage and handle it.

Some people have very strong fighting spirits that they manage to stay strong and eventually succeed no matter how difficult the problem may be.  There are also some people who have a weak personality who tend to give up easily when they are faced with a problem.  People have different personalities and the ones who need life coaches the most are those people who have seemingly weak fighting spirits.

People who can’t seem to make up their minds, make their own decisions and handle their problems realistically and accordingly are the ones who need life coaches because they would usually tend to make rash or irrational decisions which will only lead to more problems in the future.

Neutrality

People visit life coaches because they need to talk to someone who is unbiased or “neutral”.  Since people who need life coaches are baffled and confused as to what they are going to do with their life, they need a figure that they can talk to without having to worry about holding back and suppressing their thoughts and feelings.

People need a life coach so that they can fully express they thoughts and ideas and in return have positive, clear and realistic feedback and advices that will help them move to a path that is right for them.

Categories : Miscellaneous
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Thoughts are very powerful. People have been known to withstand pain through sheer thought. People have achieved what they have always wanted through the power of the mind. And people also bring themselves into emotional cesspits because of thoughts.

Depression starts with pervasive thoughts of inadequacy and self-blame, among other things. A lot of the time, depression is triggered by a devastating event or an ill-thought-out decision that had disastrous results. Depressed people wallow in their self-pity and self-blame, slowly losing their will to live, slowly descending into a world where even the air is colored gray.

But there is a way out. Cognitive Therapy, which is used by psychotherapists and psychiatrists to treat depression, is a highly effective method that has brought people “back from the dead,” so to speak. It is very effective; but it’s actually a simple process you can do on your own.

What happens in Cognitive Therapy is that the patient is made to talk about a certain issue, especially the trigger of his/her depression, or the stress he/she is currently undergoing. When the patient blames him/herself or makes sweeping generalizations to prove what a miserable wretch he/she really is, the therapist disputes that and corrects the patient by asking questions to prove the negative thought and to encourage rational thinking.

You can do this on yourself too. Say you think, “I’m the fattest girl on earth”. Catch yourself with reality. Ask yourself: what is your weight? What is the weight of an officially obese person? If you do qualify for obesity, remind yourself: even 400-pounders have gone down to normal weight. So can you. If you need proof to tell yourself that it’s really true, you can research on success stories.

And this method applies across topics and across disciplines too. If you think you can never get that raise, ask yourself: “Never?” Then research, stack the cards, and arm yourself with truth. Dispute the veracity of your thoughts through cold, hard facts. If the facts agree with you, don’t despair. You have other options. The world has never run out of choices. You can get what you want, just keep a rational, open, and optimistic mind.

Cognitive Therapy and its principles has been a big help to so many people. I know it will help you, too. Just read more to show yourself how.

Categories : Health
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