Archive for January, 2009
Achieving Your Ultimate Dreams
Posted by: | CommentsEvery man and women on this earth is born to live life. But human has evolved over the centuries and contributed something to the society. If this urge to contribute never existed in humans, we would be mere animals roaming on the earth. How does this urge arise? It arises out of self love, confidence, interest and sometimes, the wish to achieve something before they die. Some wish to great heights and achieve them. Some wish to great heights and are unable to achieve them. Like in business, planning is one thing, achieving and implementing the plan is another ball game.
What do you do when you find yourself not doing what you wanted to, and not achieving what you set out for? It happens with everybody at some point in time. This is no time to slouch. Think of those times when you wanted to get something and you got it. It could be as small as buying a cycle, or a guitar, or making a delicious pan cake. You wished for something, you worked towards getting it. You coaxed your parents in getting you a set of drums when everyone in the house feared the noise. You worked towards it by talking to them and letting them know that you want to do something in life and that this is what could take you there. Think of the times when you were able to balance on a cycle. Think of the times when you cracked a difficult exam. These are small short term goals you achieved, and you learn from your own experience and you get confidence.
Sometimes even this is not enough to motivate you and to move you towards you goals. That’s when you should sit and think seriously. You must relax and write down what you want to achieve. You write down time lines within which you wish to achieve them. This is the prelude to an amazing few months and years during which you move closer to your goals.
The most important ingredient to achieving your goals is to have self confidence in yourself and in what you do. For this you must be sure you have the requisite skills and vision. You must plan and re-plan your activities to get them absolutely right. Speak to people with similar interests, learn form your mistakes, refine your plans and in time you will be absolutely confident in what you do. Once you decide what you want to do and achieve, leave no stones unturned. Keep the critics at arms length and take them as your learning. Critics are everywhere. You have to live with them. They actually help you grow. Have a great vision. The vision must shed light on your path to success and achieving your goals.
Apart from reworking your plans you should build confidence in you to achieve them. You can start doing this by writing what you feel is a positive statement that says: nothing can stop you. If you wanted to be a drummer, then write down “I am the greatest drummer and I’m going to grow greater each day, each minute, learning and improvising.” You aren’t great of course, even if you were great you don’t like to boast, but this statement is your personal statement, meant to motivate you, build confidence and express the inner potential even before you get there. However small this may seem, you are pushing yourself inch by inch to your ultimate dream – your goals!!
How To Use Time Wisely
Posted by: | CommentsWaking up early in the morning is one of the hardest things to do, right? How you wish you could get that extra ten minutes of sleep! How many times have you set an alarm at 6am and woken up after noon! Do you always end up feeling overstressed, frustrated and angry? Go to bed exhausted and wake up looking like hell?! What would you give, to gain control over your life? To wake up every morning, feeling rejuvenated, calm and cheerful!
Every one of us have with us the same number of days, weeks, months… its about “how” we utilize this time, that differentiates the successful ones from the not so successful ones. Imagine having time to dedicate to work and at the same time have an active social life, to have that vacation, time to relax… Well, All of this is completely achievable, as long as you organize yourself well with effective time management techniques!
The first thing to do, to utilize time wisely, is to PRIORITIZE! List out all the things you have to do… everything that is in your mind. And rank them according to their importance – from absolutely essential to optional. It would be wise to include meditation, worship etc. also as critical even though it may not seem to be. Sometimes, urgent tasks may crop up, which may not be high in terms of criticality, yet are “urgent”. So the list should be flexible enough to accommodate such tasks. Hence, grade the various tasks in hand as urgent, important but not urgent, neither important nor urgent. And then further rank items under each category. These decisions may be difficult to take, but they are the key to effective time management. Hence, prioritize. Maintain a to-do book. It really helps you keep focused on work that needs to get done.
There’s something called Pareto principle of the 80/20 rule. It just says, 80% of all results come from 20% of all efforts that you put in! So when you identify which 20% is most important, and perform it, you’re already quite successful! So focus your efforts accordingly!
Always remember, the time is “now”! Even though the important tasks may not exactly be interesting things, you still have to motivate yourself to do it! Picture having completed the task and how you feel after it; immediately work towards it! If the task looks very humongous, then try and divide it into sub task. Device a methodology in your mind; suddenly, the whole thing will look a lot simpler and you can go about doing it!
Give yourself a treat when you have finished a very knotty task! Go to a spa, have a nice long head bath or anything that would make you feel nice about yourself! Remember, fitness, meditation, healthy food may not seem like critical tasks, however including them as part of your everyday will make world of difference to how you feel. You will see a new you very soon, just shake yourself up and make up your mind to lead a tension-free organized lifestyle. You will soon find yourself spreading smiles wherever you go! 
Choosing The Right Goals
Posted by: | CommentsEveryone has a dream, a vision. In order to get to the ‘ultimate’ state, one has to chalk out ax exhaustive roadmap. This formal process of personal planning is called Goal Setting. Ambitious but finicky people set numerous goals but are often clueless as to how to work towards them! It is important to set the right goals that are realistic yet challenging.
Goals are normally set along different levels. We have just one life that God has given to us. You cannot become a doctor, lecturer, CEO of a company, engineer, finance expert, lawyer etc. all in one life! Hence, seek opinions and analyze your strengths, weakness. Put down in writing, your large scale goals. These goals must be further broken into smaller goals. And then work towards it step by step.
Prioritize your activities. For some persons, family is more important than work or vice versa. This is dependent on a lot of factors like values, attitudes, principles, upbringing, culture etc. Hence, once the main goals are put down, rank them in accordance to their importance. This helps in apportioning the appropriate time to each of the activities.
Goal setting is certainly more than just scribbling on a piece of paper. It has a definite, binding purpose. It is the roadmap to achieve your dreams. It has to be followed very strictly. A lot of goals look nice and idealistic. However, unless the goal is something you really want with all your heart, you will work towards it. Goals must be consistent with values, principles and aptitudes. It should not contradict each other. Example: With an annual income of $50,000 you cannot want to buy a house that costs $900,000.
Goals must be set in various areas: family, career, health, social, educational, financial. This way, there is a balance that is maintained in all areas and leads to a wholesome development as an individual. However, importance given to each area may vary. Believe in the power of positivity. Writing down goals leads to our subconscious mind to follow those instructions. The more positive the instructions, the more positive will be the results.
When you aim at the moon, you will shoot at the stars, if you miss the moon. Do not aim at the tree, for you will shoot the ground! Ensure that your goals are set high. They should be challenging, yet achievable. Concentrate on adding value to yourself everyday. We should live everyday, and not just exist.
Fill yourself with positive thoughts always. Write down your goals and put it up in a prominent place on the wall. Read it everyday. Put in on your cell phone as notes. Also make a copy of the goals on a word document on your desktop/laptop. Review your goals on a daily/weekly basis. Make it part of your routine. Visualize yourself having achieved the goals! See in your mind’s eye, the benefits and fruits of your goals. Your subconscious mind will automatically drive you to get there. Resist temptation. Ask yourself – “will this action take me closer to my goal?” If yes, don’t pause! Else, you know what to do.
Set your goals. Prioritize. Lay your road map. Be aware of what you’re doing. Review regularly. Success will be all yours. Good luck!
The Effective Public Speaker
Posted by: | CommentsFor some people, ‘public speaking’ brings tremors and shivering within their body. Many have stage fright so much so that they faint on stage. The fear or rejection and the embarrassment of forgetting are all reasons for this. Public speaking is difficult for those who rarely mingle with people. They hate to be in public and loose their concentration when they see large gatherings. In today’s world where opinions matter a lot, it is important for one to voice is out. But fear of public speaking keeps a lot of people indoors.
Let’s look at the benefit of public speaking:
A good public speaker can give amazing presentations in business meetings. It could decide whether the person gets the contract or not.
At college or school, good presentation and speeches mean better grades.
A good speaker is almost always recognized and this can work for you when you want public support (be it college, school or office)
A good speaker is almost always confident about himself/herself ad thus can push you to succeed in any field.
A good speaker is able to give his/her opinions freely and thus be part of a community and be accepted.
Keeping this in mind, you really should be looking at improving your public speaking skills. It’s not tough and you can use following ways to improve this. (It applies to any public speaking or group discussion)
Get your topic right and always research well. It is important to understand your topic well so that you don’t end up saying wrong things on stage. Also while researching and collecting ideas and materials, go into as much depth as possible. You never know where you will discover information good enough to win over a debate or discussion.
Once you finish collecting material, sift through them and only use those that address to you audience. For example: If you find the audience is mostly of a young age group, stick to content that they can relate to. Don’t use complex language or jargons. Include funny anecdotes and simple language so that it becomes easier for you too.
Think of what you will wear for the occasion. This is equally important and actually gives you the much needed confidence. Don’t wear anything too casual and stick to the basics. Dress according to the occasion.
Use speaking aids such as a multimedia presentation, a laser light to point on screen and (if necessary) copies of points discussed in the presentation for the audience. This will add to your presentation.
Keep your mind clear and don’t talk before you give your speech. This allows your mind to clear up and during the speech your thoughts flow really well. Practice your speech in front of the mirror and improve your body language. Keep modulating your voice and stress on important points with conviction.
This way you would be able to deliver a killer presentation/speech or discussion.
Losing Your Identity When You Are In LOVE?
Posted by: | CommentsThis article is for those who are in love and are experiencing this amazing feeling of being in love. Life is just wonderful and both of you are having the time of your life. Days pass and things settle into a routine. You admire him and he admires you, both of you want to please each other. It has been a harmonious relationship because you adjust with him and like him for what he is. Sometimes this is where things start to break up. Do your friends feel that you have changed after having started this relationship? Do you notice how different your attitude is from what it used to be? Do you notice you’re doing a lot of things he likes, but completely different from what you used to like?
These are just small alarms, a time to find out, if you’re really enjoying doing things that you want he wants you to do; whether it is about wearing simple clothes, using less make up, partying less, shift jobs so you can make sometime for him etc. Love is always considered as a mutual relationship of caring, mutual respect for each other and thus sacrifice and compromise to make each other happy and contended. Compromise is a very important aspect of a love relationship. It maybe small things and it’s all about doing things for your partner would like, at the same being yourself. If you aren’t enjoying doing such things, then it doesn’t mean you aren’t in love. It is important to be yourself, only then can you enjoy. It is again important to know your partner well and be accommodating at most times but to a level beyond which you would need to be yourself.
Many times women in a relationship stop talking to their long time male friends in fear of partner not trusting her. It become tough for her as she looses someone whom she genuinely enjoyed talking to and had a clean relationship. Instead of this she could’ve introduced her friend to her partner, made him comfortable, this could’ve made things a lot easier for both. If you love going to parties, and your partner hates it, you need not be submissive and not go for it. Instead, talk to each other, find out what each other likes doing and create space for each other so that end of the day you both respect each other and stay happy. When in love there is a tendency of doing lot things for the other person, in the process one forgets one’s self. That is a real issue and you will not be absolutely happy forgetting yourself. If someone likes you, it is for what you are; so DON’T CHANGE YOURSELF.
Love yourself first. Only then can you love someone else wholeheartedly. Love what your independence and your opinions. You may not be perfect, and no one is. When you are in a relationship, communicate. Communication can make or break a relationship. Talk things out to each other. Let them know you need your space. Involve your partner in things you like and let them know why it makes you happy. If you compromise for your partner all the time and do things you don’t really enjoy, you will start hating things and eventually it will affect your relationship. Don’t loose your identity in the process of loving someone. Be yourself, it surely can make your love life an amazing experience for life.
Integrity: A way to success
Posted by: | CommentsA powerful ingredient to your success in life lies within you. It’s not to do to with skills, educational qualification, money etc. It’s a word called ‘Integrity’. What is integrity and how can it change your life? Integrity is a characteristic of a strong individual. Not physically strong but mentally. The word ‘Integrity’ very well defines and encompasses a range of characteristics. It is something like the peak of a mountain; it is a unique level of mind where the person becomes complete and in harmony with everything else around. It is the penultimate characteristic of a man. It is the amalgamation of good personal values, beliefs, sense of desire, foresight, honesty, confidence, ethics, and discipline.
This list may scare you at first, but it’s all there within us. To be successful in life, one must be prepared for the world. That’s where education and experience helps us. After you have prepared yourself to face the world, you grow other desires; of having a great life. You need to money to lead a great life, to get money you need good ideas, hard work and foresight. With great ideas come conflicts and stumbling blocks; that’s where you need to be confident. With each level of success comes a question of sustainability and consistency; that’s where your values, beliefs and ethics take control. Your discipline will see you through any failures or setbacks. You move on to a higher state of mind when you imbibe all the above qualities. This is when people start to respect you for what you are and how you have managed to accomplish things in life.
You attract people towards you with you flair, confidence, hard work and great ideas. Helps your ideas get recognized and thus move you up the success ladder. You do away with competition in the long term with your ethics, honesty, discipline and great foresight. Hence success is again the amalgamation of great ideas and a leader who is visionary and is a person of integrity.
What you need to do is to observer your behavior and work patterns to see where you have done things right and where you have done things wrong. Achieving success with unethical means can be rewarding in the short term but you may loose the race in the long run. Create a set of values and beliefs that reflect the good of society and your family. You may derive the same from your experiences too. Stick to them. Stick to them for LIFE! Judge your self not on success but on ways you managed to lift yourself up from failures. Success will then become a routine. Never compromise on honesty; it’s the life and blood of a person with Integrity. Discipline your life, work hard and adhere to commitments and success will kiss your feet!
Achieve Impossible Dream
Posted by: | CommentsWhen you were in pre-school, you felt like you were the unluckiest person on earth, for you were burdened with the task of learning alphabets and numbers which seemed to be an almost impossible thing to do! A few months hence, you proudly wrote your name on paper and boasted of your little achievement! Your parents watched you in awe and were so thrilled that their little child has learnt to read and write! Transformation of a small dream into reality.
A new born baby does not know the laws of the society. It is ruled by the ‘id’ which are basic instincts that we are all born with. As we grow up, we learn to live with certain constraints and be a part of the society. We learn that certain things are ‘possible’ and certain things are ‘impossible’. But from where exactly has this concept of impossibility crept into our minds? How do you know that a particular task is ‘impossible’ to achieve?
Our ‘ego’ is meant to protect us from prospective dangers. Based on past experiences, the ego makes judgments. However, one should not let ego control him/her. Instead, from the moment one starts taking control of the ego, all the so called ‘impossible’ things will suddenly seem ‘possible’, almost instantaneously!
We have preconceived notions about various things and we assume that it is ‘reality’. Eg: When you touch a hot stove by mistake, you take your hands off almost immediately by reflex action. So the ‘ego’ has learnt that fire is dangerous. Now if someone asks you to voluntarily touch a hot stove, you will not, because, your ego warns you against consequences. On the other side, have we ever wondered how certain people have been able to walk on fire?! They have proved that fire-walk is NOT impossible. These are the people who take control of their ego. This is the first step to achieve any dream that you think is impossible.
What we see is only our perception. To a large extent, our perception is influenced by our level of awareness. Sometimes, we find some problems difficult to solve. The same problem will look a lot easier when you look at it a little later. This happens because we grow constantly and we should work towards gaining more knowledge and increasing our level of awareness. Those who achieve the impossible have an everlasting thirst for knowledge. The more you gain of it, the concept of ‘impossibility’ will vanish from your mind.
There are only three key focus points to achieving impossible dreams: Clarity, Commitment and Focus. Be clear of what your “impossible dream” is. Have the burning desire in you to convert it into reality. Channelize all efforts towards achieving the dream with a single and focused mind.
Visualize yourself and your state of mind when after having achieved the goal. How would you feel? Wonderful, right?! You feel are in a state of renewed confidence and self-worth. Keep these fruits in mind, and work towards it. Draw a road map to achieve the goal. Put down the goals in writing and stick it on your wall/pinboard such that you are reminded of it everyday. Establish timelines, review your progress periodically and take alternative courses of action when necessary.
The ultimate mantra is to dream BIG. Balance time and resources; take efforts to do things that will lead you one step closer to your dream every time. As you dream bigger, you will find yourself constantly raising the bar for yourself and sooner or later, you will realize that NOTHING is ‘impossible’.
How important is Self-Esteem for success
Posted by: | CommentsDo you find yourself unhappy with life and feeling miserable about yourself? Do you look down upon yourself? Do you feel scared to face your competition? Do you find yourself not gelling in any group? It is highly likely that you have low self esteem. High self esteem is a success factor for humans since time immemorial. In order to be happy, contended, and healthy, one has to build self esteem. Unless you respect yourself and your body, you cannot achieve anything in life and most importantly you will never be happy. Sometimes people end up in depression and always feel insecure in life. They carry this over to their personal life and this can affect parents, spouse and relatives.
To be loved by others, you must first start loving yourself. Your body and face reflects your self confidence or self esteem. If you send the wrong signals, people will feel the same way. You start to hate those who make fun of you or point fingers at you when you are genuinely in the wrong. This further worsens your situation and you start to feel like a looser. You have to start believing in yourself and your abilities. It is not tough. Self belief can be developed by doing things you really like or love. When you like doing something, you do it with full heart. Once you achieve success at this, you start to feel your worth. However small it may be. Once you start to feel your worth, you start liking yourself. Subconsciously your mind starts to see the good side of you. You must at this point pump yourself with positive thoughts. Keep telling yourself, that you are the best. Nobody is perfect in life, and we all have to live with it.
Anger is another reason why a person can have low self esteem. Anger can make one look stupid. Control it and this will help you get some discipline in life. Anger creates stress and for a person with low self-esteem, you need to relax. Meditation and yoga can help you get over this problem. It helps you cool your body and removes negative thoughts. The more you relax, the more you are able to think with a free mind. The more you think with a free mind, the more you adapt to situations and thus achieve success. With every success you build confidence. Set small goals for yourself and see how you achieve them. If you fail at something, stop pitying yourself; learn from these mistakes and try again. Confidence is within us, we just need to tap it and make full use of it.
Hence having high self esteem is important for us to succeed in life. High self esteem also brings respect from others and this is again important for a person to succeed in this competitive world.
Getting Through A Bad Day
Posted by: | CommentsNo matter how hard we try to reverse situations, we come across these days where everything, I mean EVERYTHING goes wrong. You feel so ridiculous and despondent at the end of it. You’re angry, low, and gloomy all day. The day normally begins with something that is completely unpleasant and it does not get any better during the course of the day! Yes, we’re talking about one of those “bad” days, when you feel like you’re the unluckiest human being ever born and that you’re burdened with the world to carry on your shoulders. This state of mind is also associated with what we commonly call “depression”. We hear people say, “I’m so depressed in life.” They’re probably having a bad day!
The most fundamental of things that we have to keep in mind is that the “bad” phase is only temporary. It will pass, sooner or later. The tendency to feel like ‘it’s all over’ is natural. It will also seem forever since you were caught in the quagmire. Remember, no matter how bad your problem is, it will get over eventually!
Let us focus on something we could do to get over the disgusted, depressed feeling for the moment! Indulge! Grab a pastry, or a chocolate or packet of potato chips! This is an instant remedy for that will cause a sugar rush and help you feel temporarily ‘up’. Do not make this a habit; you might just end up putting on too many extra calories!
Sometimes, you may not even know what exactly is bothering you or the reason for your feeling low. Watch a really sentimental movie. Cry it out. All your bottled up emotions will find a gateway. You will a lot better after you’ve cried your heart out and a nap soon after. You will rest your tired body as well, in the process. You will wake up feeling a lot lighter.
The above two solutions will help you get out of the state temporarily. However, if you think the “bad” day has a deeper underlying cause to it, you must analyze. Although it might seem like a bad idea to dwell on the things that are going wrong in your life when you’re already in a bad mood, still think about it. You will realize the need to change. Change the situation/yourself or find a solution to the root problem, so that you don’t have bad days on account of that particular reason anymore. Recognize where you are and what you need to do, to fix the problem.
Think of all those people who’ve hurt you in the past and all those people that have taken you for a ride. Sometimes it just takes a rotten day to help you realize that people whom you thought were your well wishers and friends are actually not. Realize now that those people did no good to you and will not do any good to you in future. Flush them out of your life, once and for all. Start anew.
Think of all those things that are responsible for your wretched day. What you did wrong, who did what wrong, something else that you’ve always wanted to confront but have been putting off for ages. Clear it off from your mind NOW. Cry if need be. Get angry if need be. Take efforts to change those things that are in your hands. You certainly want to change those things that are responsible for you feeling so dismal. Accept those things that you refused to, all along. Accept reality.
Life is not always a bed of roses. It takes these “bad” days to help us all realize the truth. Sometimes, you see and realize a lot of things more clearly amidst pain. Reality hits hard and loud. Somewhere, something has gone wrong about your life. You have to fix it. Your body and mind are telling you that. Are you listening?
Do You Need A High IQ To Be Successful?
Posted by: | Comments“IQ” is a term that is commonly heard of. It is an abbreviation for “Intelligence Quotient”, a test that is used to measure intelligence. Imagine being put through a host of tests and being awarded a number that stands for your intelligent quotient! What does this number really mean? What is its significance?!
IQ tests are used to distinguish people into the ‘normal’, ‘gifted’ or ‘challenged’ category. Children are tested relative to each other in data interpretation, logical reasoning, vocabulary, quantitative abilities and spatial orientation. The most commonly used test for measuring IQ is the Stanford-Binet intelligence test. A person with an IQ score of 100 is said to be ‘normal’ and those with scores of 130 above are said to be ‘intellectually gifted’. Does this mean that people with a high IQ are extraordinarily successful and those with an average IQ are limited to average success? Certainly not!
A television program in Canada recently tracked down several people with high IQ scores. One such person was found working as a motorcycle mechanic, who hangs out in bad company and is a frequent visitor of the jail! Another such person works as a in a bar, earns a pittance and lives in a pitiful garage. Very clearly, a high IQ certainly does not ensure success! So all you ‘normal’ people out there get out of your depression! And the alleged intelligent ones buck up, for you ought to sweat it tout to make it to the top!
What IQ tests measure is a certain potential. This potential ought to be nurtured and develop by the person who is blessed with it. However, one may not have an inclination to do so! Example: there might be a person who’s gifted with an extremely melodious voice, but hates music. Or someone who has a perfect physique for a high jumper, but may loathe sports! In these cases, having a high IQ means practically nothing.
Standard IQ tests measure only a part of intelligence potential. But that cannot be called ‘intelligence’ from a wholesome perspective. Psychologist Howard Gardner of Harvard University says that there are 7 types of intelligence – verbal-linguistic, logical-mathematical, visual-spatial, musical, bodily-kinesthetic, social-interpersonal and intra-personal. IQ tests do not accurately measure all of these.
There are people who do exceedingly well in school. But they are failures in real life, because they lack the dynamism and smartness to pull them through work. On the other hand, there are people who have failed miserably in school, but have emerged millionaires, thanks to their smartness and practical orientation in life.
Was Michelangelo incompetent because he was not a great mathematician? Or was Einstein inept because he was not a great artist? Which one of these two men is more intelligent? How should intelligence actually be defined? The answer is, there really is no definition of intelligence that explains its totality. Hence, a mere IQ number cannot determine a person’s success/failure.
Qualities such as determination, willpower and vision play a greater role in a person’s success. There really is no substitute to hard work. Creativity, foresight, optimism, goal-orientation and the drive to succeed are essential qualities of a successful person. There have been great people in the history, who have been nothings in their childhood but have built empires today because of their vision and drive. Hence, an IQ score is just a number. It does not define a person. Successful people develop and exhibit various qualities that are responsible for their success. It cannot be attributed entirely to their IQ. So buck up! And work hard! Dream big and success will be all yours!
