Author Archive
Cheat-proof Your Marriage through Communication
Posted by: | CommentsCommunication is the catalyst in relationships. Be it family relationships, friendships, or romantic relationships, not only is communication the engine of all human transactions, it is also the lubricant that enables people to connect, and remain connected, with each other.
If you’ve noticed, the breakdown of a marriage starts when a spouse no longer tells the other what is happening to him or her, what his or her thoughts are, and whether there are some issues that need to be resolved. Typically, a divorce starts with one or both spouses clamming up. Once communication is shut down, the process of marital disintegration is set in motion.
The root of an affair is exactly that: communication breakdown. I am a firm believer that quite a number of couples who divorce still love each other. The only problem is that the communication between them has broken down to the point that either one is apprehensive of rejection, or pride makes them want to keep giving each other the cold shoulder. Because of this emotional climate in the marriage, either one of the couple may seek a friendship or a “shoulder to cry on”. And this is the usual storyline of most affairs. Dissatisfaction in the relationship leads one party to go out and seek escape, solace, or even merely a listening ear in someone else. Which could eventually lead to a dangerous liaison simply because the hurting party was too vulnerable at that time. This emotional vulnerability is the one thing that will make an otherwise committed spouse risk his or her marriage in favor of temporary thrills.
So how exactly do we avoid communication breakdowns in our marriages? Relationships need work and commitment, and it’s a daily “dying to self”. By this I mean that we have to make sacrifices to keep the marriage working.
But if you love your spouse, making things work will not be too difficult. You only have to nurture the relationship and each other, and make sure that you connect on a daily basis.
Below are a few suggestions on how to connect:
· Talk often.
· Do things together as often as you can. You can take walks together to get in exercise, or you can do chores together.
· Practice being comfortable in silence. Silences could become the most intimate parts of your relationship. This is when you could just savor the presence of each other without feeling the pressure to communicate verbally. Touch is the most healing of all human (nonverbal) communications, and it would really nurture your relationship if you touch often.
Aside from these practices that will nourish your relationship, make sure that you deal with your problems and issues as they arise. Nothing kills a relationship faster than wounds that have been allowed to fester. Never let offenses accumulate and turn into anger and resentment.
And lastly, enjoy each other. If you need help to enjoy each other again, then seek it. Counseling and marital therapists abound and they really help in teaching you tools how to handle relationships. And don’t forget reading up on self-help, like these resources from us. Knowledge could go a long way in cheat-proofing your marriage.
Good luck!
Cool It! Tips on Effectively Controlling your Anger
Posted by: | CommentsDuring the times when you think that your day just could not get any worse, but it does, do you feel like you are about to reach your boiling point? What do you usually do to release your tension? Anger is but a normal part of the human emotion. However, different people deal with anger in different ways, which is why it is necessary to determine whether you have anger management problems.
Anger which gets out of control can easily turn into a full-fledged rage, which could have very unpleasant results. The people around you, your work and your lifestyle in general can get affected if you do not learn how to curb any excessive energy resulting from anger.
If you feel like you have the tendency to be easily annoyed over little things, but you do not want to be a slave to this very powerful emotion, then take a look at these tips on how you can keep your cool – and learn to understand, control and better manage your anger:
1. Analyze where all your pent-up rage is coming from.
Be it from a bad experience in your past, or a mere annoyance over a certain behavior or a particular person, remember that you need to determine the cause of your anger. By understanding where the emotion is coming from, you can be more level-headed when facing similar circumstances to have a better grasp of your emotions and learn how to overcome this often aggressive feeling.
2. Think of ways on how you can positively release your tension.
Think of an angry mother cat who will physically hurt or lash out on a human being who she feels is threatening her litter of kittens. Physically releasing your anger is normal, but unlike animals, humans have the ability to control their own destructive instincts by thinking levelly.
Whenever you feel a rage coming on, you can first express your anger, then suppress any emotion which may prove harmful to others by calming yourself. This is not saying that you should not express your anger and just keep it inside of you – this is also unhealthy. You just need to find an outlet which is not harmful to yourself and to others, think of other ways to release the tension, and learn how to calm yourself in the process.
Life in general may not be easy, and there is always something or someone that will put frown lines on your face and cause you to be angry. In such cases, just remember that it is okay to feel angry. However, if you will just let your emotions like anger take control of your life, you will end up unhappy, easily irritable and you will not succeed in your relationships with other people. You may not be able to completely change a person or a situation, but what you can change is the way that you deal with your problems by learning how to react positively and not let anger get the better of you.
Big Thoughts and Big Actions Make Dreams Come True!
Posted by: | CommentsYes, these two can indeed make your thoughts materialize – even big, seemingly impossible dreams. The process is very straightforward, applying the law of manifestation.
It all begins in your mind, with a single thought. If you think small, you get small results. But if you think big, what do you think your results will be? If you think, a small bungalow will be fine as my house, then most likely that is what you will get. On the other hand, if you think you would like a two-storey house with a pool and garden, then again, that is what you will most likely get.
Feeling, or passion, follows. This is where the question “How badly do I want this?” comes in. Also, “What am I willing to do in order to get this?” The answer to this determines your level of commitment. Your passion and commitment also dictate your results.
Based on your thought and passion, you set a specific goal with a specific deadline. It is best to write it down as the subconscious mind absorbs it better when you write it down.
Then take big actions that are only worthy of your big thoughts! If you are looking for your dream house, find out how much it costs and how you are going to get it. Think about and visualize your dream house everyday. This activates the law of attraction, where you attract people and events related with what you think about most. Stay alert for “coincidences” from the universe – for example, suddenly meeting an architect or anyone who can help you get that dream house.
Change your actions if needed until you reach your goal. If for example your sources of income are not enough to finance your dream house, then you may have to change them or add to them.
In time, you will reach your goal.
Just keep this formula in mind – big thoughts and big feelings lead to big goals, which in turn lead to big actions, finally leading to big results!
Reach Your Goal by Affirming and Visualizing
Posted by: | CommentsYour thoughts determine whether you reach your goal or not. If you are constantly in a negative state of mind or succumb to fears and doubts, then your goal will remain far from your reach. But if you feed your mind with positive thoughts and imagine yourself having reached that goal already, then you are almost certain to reach it!
Before you can even set a goal, first acknowledge that we all live in a universe overflowing in abundance. Lack and poverty are mainly brought about by thoughts of lack and poverty. But in reality the universe has more than enough for everyone, if only we ask and believe. So before you think about you want, affirm the universe’s abundance, that it already has what you want even before you ask for it. Surely, then, you will have it once you ask! For your subconscious mind to totally accept this as fact, recite an affirmation everyday, like “The universe can give me anything I ask for,” or something along these lines.
After having the proper state of mind, you can then start asking. Write down your goal. Make it very specific. See the outcome very clearly in your mind. Experience the outcome of your goal in your mind. If it is your dream job, imagine walking through the office, talking to people, sitting at your desk and doing the work you love. Use not only your sense of sight, but whatever is applicable in your imagined scene. Do your visualization everyday, ideally upon waking up and before going to sleep.
Partner your visualization with an affirmation – affirm that you have what you want right now. You can say “I am happily working in my dream job,” or something like that. Soon, you will attract events or circumstances that will lead to your dream job – or you might get an inspired idea on how to get your dream job.
Do your affirmations and visualizations everyday and you will surely reach your goal.
Benefits of Neuro Linguistic Programming
Posted by: | CommentsWhat is Neuro Linguistic Programming?
Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP is a system developed by Richard Bander and John Ginder in the early 70s. In this system it is believed a person can improve himself by changing his outlook in life in a positive manner.
In NLP, it is taught that language and behavior are highly structured and as such, they can be modeled. Modeling is a method wherein behaviors, language and beliefs of another person are gathered and combined then created to a form which can be taught to others. These models are taught and adapted to persons needing it.
NLP’s Benefits
Ever since its development in the 70s, Nero Linguistic Programming has already come a long way. The system has been used in so many various ways. Today, NLP is used in business, in health improvement and even in sports.
In business, to be able to establish rapport with customers and client is big advantage. Even with a so-so product with a not so so-so price, as long as a good relationship is built between you and the client, the outcome will quite be favorable. NLP can improve skills in communication and management. It can also improve leadership and motivational skills.
In sports, Neuro Linguistic Programming can help you improve in your game. It helps you concentrate on things and make you become more aware of the things you’re doing. If there’s something wrong it can be corrected right away. For example, a golfer who can’t hit the ball properly because of his form would take notice of it and implement change. So the next time he hits a ball would be in proper form.
Health care can also benefit from NLP. Positive thinking is a powerful tool that can be used in the treatment and recovery of patients. Neuro
Linguistic Programming can help develop patients develop the right attitude towards their condition and illness. With a positive outlook towards their condition, it can bring about improvement.
NLP can also be used for your own personal benefit. Do you have a habit or a vice you want to stop? Do you want to stop smoking but it seems so difficult? Neuro Linguistic Programming can aid persons with these kinds of problem. The system can also help in personality improvement.
Validity of Neuro Linguistic Programming
NLP is a fusion of science and art. A science since it makes use of different scientific methodologies especially in “modeling.” It is an art because it deals with people which are such dynamic beings.
Even with NPLs popularity and how it is being widely used in different areas of life and by different professionals, it is still considered to be outside the core of academic thinking.
Is it really effective or not? It depends on the person under NLP. Some may claim it works some say it does not. But with the benefits Neuro
Linguistic Programming has to offer with no side affects, what have you got to lose if you try it.
The Road to Success
Posted by: | CommentsIn a fast-paced and highly competitive society, getting ahead in life is imperative. Gone were the days of simple living and contentment with one’s acknowledged abilities. Most people nowadays not only struggle to survive. Instead, they endeavor a much higher goal: to realize their potentials as human beings. And in order to achieve this, mankind has constantly sought out for ways to fulfill this necessity.
Countless studies have been conducted so as to capture that particular characteristic inherent in successful individuals. A group of researchers had in fact claimed that they have identified human characteristics that can be modeled and replicated to bring about success. This system is known as the neuro-linguistic programming (NLP).
Neuro-linguistic Programming or NLP is a system of techniques developed in the early 1970s by John Grinder, PhD and Richard Bandler, PhD. The system makes use of strategies, truisms and beliefs about human communication, perception and subjective experience.
Grinder and Bandler studied the thought processes, language and behavioral patterns of several successful people. Their research subjects included big names such as Fritz Perls (the father of Gestalt therapy), Milton Erickson (a prominent hypnotherapist), and Gregory Bateson (a well-known anthropologist and author in the field of communication theory). Grinder and Bandler believed that by studying how these successful individuals think, communicate and behave, they could learn to teach anyone the skills needed to increase their level of success.
The process that must follow to achieve the desired change is called modeling. In NLP, modeling is the adoption of behaviors, language, strategies and beliefs that are deemed to be ideal. The successful individual is considered as the model. The model is then condensed into a blueprint that can be taught to others (also known as the modelers). The modeler subsequently adopts the patterns of behavior, communication and thought processes of the person being modeled.
Initially, the modeler suspends his or her own beliefs in order to accommodate the patterns to be learned. Once the modeler is able to behaviorally reproduce the said patterns, he or she will then modify and readopt his or her own belief system. A process of integration will then take place wherein the newly acquired pattern will be incorporated to the individual’s own behavioral pattern and belief system. The outcome would be an improved individual with a higher potential to succeed.
People who might be interested to find out whether or not this system really works, need not look for Grinder and Bandler in the bookshelves of a library. The idea of neuron-linguistic programming has long been adopted by authors of self-help books. Bookstores, in fact, have their own section full of self-help books; from books about simple ventures to huge and arduous undertakings.
What makes these books so popular is the fact that a lot of people want to become successful. The idea of success is such a strong driving force that some people go to great lengths to achieve it.
Neuro-linguistic programming may prove to be a valuable road to success. Nevertheless, the journey to success may be taxing but it, surely, is worth it.
How to Find Your First Clients in Online Freelance Writing
Posted by: | CommentsLet’s say you have decided to be a freelance writer online. You have made a review of your writing skills and your “specialties.” You have a very good, solid idea on what you can offer to your client.
But where do you look for clients? The Internet actually offers a large “database” where you can get your prospective clients:
1) Freelance writing jobsites. This is like the classifieds, except that in here you get to answer the classifieds – or rather, writing projects – by bidding. Some freelance jobsites allow you to bid for free, while others, like Elance.com, require payment.
When you type “freelance writing jobs” or something close in your search engine, you will easily find the jobsites as well as simple advertisements offering freelance writing opportunities.
2) Forums, e-groups and other online communities. This is an effective medium especially if you actively discuss with other members or even just occasionally make a comment or two. Also, you may also have already established good relationships and trust with some of the members who might make very good clients.
Writing communities are good as members may share writing opportunities with other members from time to time. Online business communities are better as those are where your clients are.
3) Direct proposals. During your Internet surfing time, you may find websites and blogs with not very good content. Or articles in directories which are screaming to be overhauled. In times like these, you might consider writing a proposal directly to the online business owner on how you can help him/her improve his business’ performance through your writing.
4) Referrals from family and friends. If they know online business owners, half the fight is over. Their referred people will be more likely to hire you since you were referred by a friend they trust.
You can do two items simultaneously or even all. Finding your clients and marketing yourself may be time-consuming at first, but once you have your first clients, things will be easier. If they are happy, they will continue to give you projects. Or referrals to other people they know. Maybe even both.
Focus and Concentration: A Doctor’s Basic Necessity
Posted by: | Comments“An apple a day keeps the doctor away” or so they say. This is never true. You know it. The kids know it. Everybody knows it. It is impossible for someone to completely avoid sickness. There is always a point in time where you get sick, or would need any assistance of a doctor. If you have never experienced any pain or illness in your life, then there is probably something wrong with you.
It is not easy being a doctor. A doctor has to be completely organized at all times. There is absolutely no space for mistakes being a doctor. Why? It is because lives are at stake. It is not just like a normal night at the casinos where you can gamble anything. Doctors can’t just gamble the lives of their patients. It contradicts their very purpose.
Doctors are given that profession because they have the competence to save lives, not put them to waste.
Preparation of Necessary Tools
If a particular patient is to go into surgery, the doctors must already have the necessary apparatuses prepared. They do not have to worry about doing the nitty gritty themselves because they have nurses to do the job for them. But still, they have to make sure that what the nurse did is right, and that every material has been prepared.
Doctors can’t begin the surgery and stop midway because the surgical scissors are missing. It wastes time and blood is being wasted. This is not to say that doctors should rush with what they are doing. This just means to say that doctors should manage their time wisely because surgery puts the patient’s life at his or hands.
They should focus well regarding the apparatuses to be able to identify which one is missing and which one should not be there before the surgery starts. There is absolutely no space for incompetence.
Narrowing Focus
They should also narrow down their focal point. If the patient is in the operating room for an appendectomy, then the doctor should focus on the patient’s appendix instead of wandering their sight around elsewhere, somewhere on the patient’s femur.
This complicates the surgery because they should not be worrying about a part that is not in the approximate periphery of the body part in question. If the appendix is the one to be operated on then they should solely focus on the appendix.
They should concentrate as not to wander their focus elsewhere. Once they lose their concentration, their performance will not be as good, and therefore, the condition of the patient is made complicated.
They have undergone various challenges as they learned more about the medical profession. They are believed to be the best when it comes to cure and medication. That is why when you get sick; they are the first ones you seek help from.
But still, some doctors still commit mistakes. They become incompetent in the long run. They should not be doctors. They should choose another profession, one that suits their character. And being a doctor with his or her focus and concentration intact is not the one for him or her.
Being a doctor would require you to possess immense focus and concentration. Without these key factors, you will not succeed in becoming a doctor. Therefore, if you have a medical dream, then you should focus on attaining these two most important factors in becoming a doctor (especially a surgeon).
4 Self-Help Tips to a Sexier You
Posted by: | CommentsAre saddlebags, love handles and spare tires inching their way into your body? Do you spend minutes looking at the mirror wishing you had the perfectly fit body of Angelina Jolie or Brad Pitt? Do most physical activities you have previously enjoyed, morphed into pure torture? Does your diet mostly consist of salt, sweets and fats?
If you answered yes to one of the questions stated above, then you surely have plenty of reasons to get lean the healthier way. Keep in mind that losing weight is not for aesthetic reasons only.
If you are convinced that your well-being relies on your determination, then apply these tried and tested “get lean” guidelines to help you out. Not only will you lose those ugly bulges, you will also be launching a stronger, sexier and more self-assured you in the upcoming months. Still wondering how to do it? Here are the secrets:
1. Set SMART goals. Your goals should be specific, measurable, achievable, result-oriented and time-bound in order to be highly effective. For example, if you want to shed off excess pounds, say how much weight you want to lose in a week or a month. It should be realistic. Health experts advocate losing no more than one pound a week to maintain the body’s equilibrium. If you want to have a 24-inch waistline, express in concrete terms how it should be done as well as the target date.
2. Prepare a timetable and/or diary. This will reflect your progress. Daily, weekly and monthly activities in order to get lean will be included. This means household chores and outdoor exercises should be listed as well as improvement in food preferences from unhealthy to healthy ones.
3. Commit with a partner. He or she will serve as a support system in your long and oftentimes arduous journey to fitness. Choose someone who can wholeheartedly support you even through the toughest times. It’s really a great boost to the ego to have someone to talk to when you feel like giving up. Verbalize your innermost feelings when you feel an intense urge to quit.
4. Chant the “Yes, I can” mantra. Dispel those negative thoughts and replace them with positive pep talks. The moment you wake up in the morning, fill your mind with upbeat reminders to lift your energy throughout the day.
Now you know how to get lean the healthier way. Best of luck.
Turn Your Thoughts into Reality!
Posted by: | CommentsIs there anything you desire that you feel you cannot have? Is what you want always far from your reach? Anything you want is yours for the taking if you can just tap into the power of your mind. With imagination and belief, you can turn your thoughts into reality. Below are some tips to help you turn your thoughts into reality.
Desire it. Passion is a strong bridge between you and what you want. Ask yourself – how much do you really want this thing you are thinking of? Is it something you can do without, or something you are really passionate about? Passion is power.
Be specific. Be very clear about what you want. What you get is only as clear as what you want. If you want a house, see it very clearly on your mind – the architectural design of the interior and exterior, the garden, and more. Set a deadline. When do you want to have that house?
Visualize. This is arguably the most powerful tool of the mind. Be the director and leading actor in your own movie. Walk through your dream house, see the sights, smell the scents, feel the feeling of being there. The subconscious brain does not differentiate between a real experience and an imagined experience. So, once you vividly imagine a scene, you are close to letting it manifest into reality. Visualize daily.
Believe. Fear and doubt stand in the way between you and your dream. Should you feel any doubts, believe that the universe will give it to you. The universe is overflowing in blessings and abundance if only you ask and believe! What you believe, the universe gives. If you believe that you will get it, the universe will give it to you. If you believe you won’t, then the universe won’t give it to you.
Take inspired action. From your daily visualizations, you may suddenly get a spark of an idea of how to get the house. Or you might meet a person who knows where you can buy your dream house. At these moments, don’t hesitate. Act!
Follow these steps and you will prove that you can indeed turn your thoughts into reality!
