We were all raised imperfectly and we will most definitely raise our children imperfectly, as well. Our imperfections come with the territory and we can ill afford to be obsessed about them. A parenting expert once quoted the French philosopher, Voltaire, “The best is the enemy of the good.” By that, it is assumed that he meant that we can be so focused on getting things perfect that we don’t get things right.

Whatever we do, it need not be ‘perfect’. We can never be perfect, but we do have to give our best effort or even any effort at all. Some parents are sterling role models, whose children just stand out in behavior, bearing, confidence, attitude, politeness, you name it. But when we really look into the matter, we all know this is too good to be true.

Our expectations from our children can make all the difference in their upbringing. If they see that we only care for low quality output, that is what they will deliver. It’s human nature. We adjust effort to expectations in our place of work. If the expectations are set low, then our effort and output are low, too.

A more important issue here is school and studies. We can also go the other extreme and say that school is all that matters, that grades are all that matter. Some children have even gone to the thinking that their parents’ love for them is dependent on how high their grades are.

Grades are numbers or letters that we use to keep score. They are, at best, indicators of something – maybe success, intelligence, effort, virtue, character, etc. Maybe they are like the other positive numbers in our life – assets, salary, ratios, stock portfolios, ROI, etc. They probably mean something, but, ultimately, they are numbers and things.

So when we tell our kids that we expect them to do well in their studies, we tell them the limits of grades. Grades are not everything, but they are not meaningless. We also set them up for success. We do not simply set expectations, then sit back and wait for them to deliver the goods. We have to equip them, support them, mentor them, and monitor them.

There are parents who do not want their children to have a tough life the way they did. This usually comes from parents who made something of themselves against all odds, especially a desperately poor background. The stories are real: walking to school and skipping meals because of lack of money, stretching what little they had and skimping on everything, making the best of a sub-quality education, which were all their parents could afford.

These parents lived what American writer William Faulkner spoke of when he said that the poor know the joy and despair of a penny found and a penny lost. They had no nest egg from their parents to start with upon graduation. They fixed their sights on what they could do rather than wallow in self-pity or embarrassment.

Parents in this predicament have lost sight of how hardship shaped their lives for the better and taught them to be tough, resilient, resourceful, hardworking, and demanding on themselves. The desire to spare their kids the bitterness is understandable, but misdirected.

These lessons packaged well can make a real mark on their children’s values. We all know the value of story-telling, but we can get carried away and sound boastful or we may give the impression that the lesson is a cudgel we bear to pummel our kids with on cue.

It is never too early to think about our children’s future. Good parents are aware that they are raising children to be adults. We have to keep our eyes on the target and not be distracted by noise nor by our own shortcomings.

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Bad habits are hard to break. These habits can become almost automatic actions, especially those that are long sustained. Individuals controlled by their bad habits feel somewhat imprisoned by their behavior.

However innocuous the habit may seem at first, once it reaches the point where the person is unable to control this behavior, it becomes harmful.

If this pattern of behavior goes on unchecked, it is going to be extremely difficult for a person to put a stop to this. This is why probably the best way to get rid of bad habits is not to develop them in the first place! But this is virtually impossible, given that every person has the tendency to develop a habit.

If you are one of those people who are addicted to bad habits, here are some methods that can help you get out of your habitual prison cell.

1. Be dedicated to your cause. It is important that when you finally decide that they want to kick out your bad habits, you have to stick by this decision - whether the bad habit you want to break is nail biting, smoking, overeating, etc.

You can start by mentally preparing yourself for this move. You should not treat this lightly, but rather you should treat it like an important event that will change your life for the better! This is why serious effort must be put into the process of trying to quit a bad habit.

2. Tell your friends and family about your decision to quit a bad habit. Friends and family will be able to help you get rid of your habits by encouraging and offering you moral support.

3. Make a list of the consequences of your bad habits. Putting it in writing makes it official! This has long helped those who are in denial about the harmful effects of their habits realize that their bad habits does in fact have consequences! Anytime you feel the urge to go back to your bad habits, you should read this list out loud!

4. Don’t quit! If you find yourself reverting back to your old ways, just make a conscious effort to stop. Getting rid of bad habits does not happen over night. It is a gradual process. Many individuals will not be rid of their habits at their first attempt. But the important thing is that you keep at it, until you finally kick out the habit for good!

5. Replace bad habits with good ones! Find an activity that will replace the old bad habits that you’ve formed. For example, instead of eating because of boredom, try to do something more constructive. Pick up a hobby that will divert your attention from eating.

Always keep in mind that when the going gets tough, you have to persevere and not give in to the temptation to go back to your old ways!

You should always keep in mind that all the hard work and dedication that you are putting into quitting your bad habits will pay off - that what lies in store for you in the future is a healthier, and happier lifestyle!

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Does your diet fail every year because of Christmas? Holidays in the United States are almost always relegated to as the time when everyone puts on a few pounds. This year though, it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are four pain-free ways you can stay on your diet this Christmas:

1.    Drink lots of water. Just as with any diet, drinking more water is essential any time, but especially so during the holidays. Your body can become dehydrated without you even realizing it. Rather than pouring a glass of wine or sugar-filled drinks, opt for a bottle of cold water instead.

2.    Have a pep talk with yourself. All too often, diets are thrown out the window during Christmas because you know how much food you’re going to be around. You think that you might as well forget about your diet because there’s no way you’ll be able to stay on it while you celebrate. You’re wrong. Half the battle of sticking to a diet is having a made up mind that you’re going to be successful this time. Remind yourself of this every time you reach for another potato chip or slice of pecan pie.

3.    Exercise often. Getting exercise during Christmas is actually not nearly as impossible as you might think. Simple things make a big difference, like parking far when you shop and walking a ways to get to the store. Instead of riding the escalator in the mall, take the stairs.

4.    Eat half as much. Cutting down on your portions can dramatically reduce your chances of falling off the diet wagon. Grab a small saucer instead of a full-sized plate. Get a cup of punch that is half-full, if you must drink punch, rather than full to the top. These tiny steps are doable by anyone and can make a huge difference.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Anger is not necessarily a bad thing—unless your anger gets out of control. When your anger reaches the point of you losing control of your words or actions, then you have a serious problem.

Anger can and should be controlled. If you are having trouble dealing with your anger, or you don’t know how to control it, these anger management tips will help you.

• Walk away. If you feel your anger rising to the breaking point, stop and walk away. Never pursue a heated argument or debate when you’re angry. Instead, take a deep breath, and step away from the situation. If you must, go for a short walk to cool off.
• Find a productive way to express your anger. Instead of getting angry and letting the whole world know it, find something to do to release your anger. Rather than holding in your thoughts and feelings and brooding over them, find a way to reasonably express what you are feeling.
• Don’t blame or point to others. When you are angry, you tend to point the finger at others. Instead of doing this, calmly express how you are feeling. Use “I” statements. For example: “I feel neglected.” “I need time to process this information.” “I’m mad because you didn’t clean the basement today.”
• Learn to communicate effectively. In addition to using “I” statements to express your anger productively, you need to learn how to communicate in a more effective manner. Many times the source of anger stems from feeling misunderstood or ignored. Learning how to communicate with others can greatly reduce these feelings.

Finally, anger can be controlled by practicing relaxation techniques often. Try meditating or exercising to relax regularly.

Popularity: 8% [?]

Anger is not necessarily a bad thing—unless your anger gets out of control. When your anger reaches the point of you losing control of your words or actions, then you have a serious problem.

Anger can and should be controlled. If you are having trouble dealing with your anger, or you don’t know how to control it, these anger management tips will help you.

• Walk away. If you feel your anger rising to the breaking point, stop and walk away. Never pursue a heated argument or debate when you’re angry. Instead, take a deep breath, and step away from the situation. If you must, go for a short walk to cool off.
• Find a productive way to express your anger. Instead of getting angry and letting the whole world know it, find something to do to release your anger. Rather than holding in your thoughts and feelings and brooding over them, find a way to reasonably express what you are feeling.
• Don’t blame or point to others. When you are angry, you tend to point the finger at others. Instead of doing this, calmly express how you are feeling. Use “I” statements. For example: “I feel neglected.” “I need time to process this information.” “I’m mad because you didn’t clean the basement today.”
• Learn to communicate effectively. In addition to using “I” statements to express your anger productively, you need to learn how to communicate in a more effective manner. Many times the source of anger stems from feeling misunderstood or ignored. Learning how to communicate with others can greatly reduce these feelings.

Finally, anger can be controlled by practicing relaxation techniques often. Try meditating or exercising to relax regularly.

Popularity: 7% [?]

Do you have a bad habit you’d like to change, but maybe you don’t know exactly how to do so? We all have less than desirable habits from time to time. They are changeable, but you must work at it. I’m going to give you some pointers on how to do this. These are my secrets to changing habits.

• Secret #1: It is a personal choice. A habit won’t change unless you want it to. You must be willing to change and you must want to change. Unless and until this is true, you’ll likely struggle with it for a long time.
• Secret #2: It’s all in your mind. Habits are created when we make a conscious (or, equally, an unconscious) decision to do something a certain way. It’s all in your mind. Do you really want to break a habit and replace it with a good one? Then you have to make up your mind.
• Secret #3: Change your thought process. Now that I’ve shown you that it’s a personal choice and it’s all in your mind, you can see how important it is to change your thought process. When you decide to change a habit, you make a mental note and think towards that constantly. You should keep reminding yourself that this is a positive change.
• Secret #4: Reward yourself for positive behavior. Changing a habit is a very difficult thing to do. So be nice and reward yourself when you recognize progress.
• Secret #5: Practice makes perfect. This one is key. In order to change a habit, you must be good at practicing the new, better habit.The more you practice the better habit, the quicker it will replace the old habit.

Now that you know the secrets, get up and start making positive changes to your negative habits today!

Popularity: 6% [?]

Are bad habits plaguing you and preventing you from living to your fullest? It is amazing how many people say they have bad habits, but do nothing to stop them. Allow me to share seven steps that will help you break those bad habits.

• Step 1: Define those bad habits. If you have to, sit down with a pen and paper and write them down. Make a list of all the bad habits you’d like to break. Just seeing them written on paper can really open your eyes and force you to face them like never before.
• Step 2: Put positive reinforcements in place. Your brain has to be tricked into changing bad habits into better ones. In order to do this, you need to have positive reinforcements in place as a reward for changed behavior. This usually comes in the form of a rewards system.
• Step 3: Gather your cheerleaders. Everybody needs some cheering on, especially when you’re attempting a challenging hurdle like changing habits. Enlist a few friends or family members to be your cheering section. When you need encouragement, you can turn to them for help and motivation to carry on.
• Step 4: Now that you have a clear list of your bad habits on paper, go back and write a positive habit that you can replace each bad one with. It doesn’t matter how small or silly it seems, do it anyway. In order to release the bad habits, you need good ones to replace them.
• Step 5: Are you changing these habits for you? The only way you will be able to create a change in your life is if you are doing it for yourself. If you want to change a bad habit because somebody else wants you to, chances are it won’t last long. But when you are ready to change for yourself, it will be much easier to create new, positive habits.
• Step 6: Find a stress-reliever. As you create these changes in your life, you will probably feel more stressed out than you ever have. This is normal. It is important though to have stress relievers that you can turn to. After all, you don’t want to replace one bad habit with another one.
• Step 7: Be nice to yourself. When you make a mistake (as you most certainly will at some point), you cannot beat yourself up or wallow in a guilt trip. You have to stand up and start from where you are again. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Be just as nice to you as you would be to anyone else in your shoes.

Popularity: 6% [?]

If you tell someone you’ll do something, then do it. If you tell someone you love and care for them, then show it in your actions and not just your words. If you want to be treated kindly, then treat others kindly. If you want respect, show respect.

Words are very powerful, but they mean nothing if you do not follow up with action. The better you treat other people the better they will treat you and your life will be happier and you’ll have more confidence.

Today’s Quote:

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.
- John Leonard

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