How to Cheat-proof Your Marriage: Having Realistic ExpectationsBy
Marriage is the ultimate relationship you could ever enter. It’s more than a bond between a man and woman, it’s a joining of souls. With the current trend of marriages dissolving nowadays, especially because of infidelity, the question that nags both men and women the world over is: will it last? Whether you’re legally married or just cohabiting, admit it, the question of keeping your partner faithful is tugging at your heart. But what exactly does it take to keep your man or your woman?
Is it keeping your muscles so tight that your neck looks like it would pop a vein any moment now? Is it keeping your nose at an angle that would burst balloons? The good news is, it actually doesn’t have to be as costly as any of that. The better news is that one way to cheat-proof your marriage is actually so simple that you can do it effortlessly. With practice, that is.
And what is that, you ask? It’s having realistic expectations.
One of the causes that a partner will want to stray is that the emotional climate in the marriage is already stifling. One major factor that encourages a suffocating climate in a marriage is that one or both spouses have undue demands on the other, that the other simply can’t meet because it’s not in his or her nature. The root of this is that reality does not line up with the partner’s expectations of the other, and vice-versa. If you seek to keep your spouse from straying, you have to remember to keep it real. Have realistic expectations.
How do you acquire realistic expectations? Simple. The basic thing to keep in mind is that no one person can meet all your needs, all the time. This simply means that you shouldn’t let yourself believe that once you’re married, you will be in total bliss. This simply means that you have to realize that there is no such thing as a totally perfect fit to your personality. Your spouse may want to watch sports sometimes, and you won’t be able to pry him away from that, even if you really, really ache to go shopping.
So what can you do to encourage having realistic expectations? You have to remind yourself constantly to give your spouse some space. If your spouse cannot meet your need now, use your own emotional resources, or go look for a same-sex friend to keep you occupied for the moment. Learn not to resent those times when he or she cannot provide what you need. But in case you do resent it, always remember to go back and talk with your spouse how you felt, in a calm and rational way. You can talk about how to work around filling each other’s needs according to each other’s capacities.
Another thing you have to remember is that your personal happiness is your own responsibility. You are the captain of your ship. You may not hold the actions of others, or how circumstances will go, but you do hold the decision of how you’ll react to these actions or circumstances.
You simply cannot expect another person to keep you absolutely happy all the time. When you do that, you are turning into an emotional vampire, feeding into someone’s emotional resources just to keep yourself emotionally stable.
What you can do to remedy this is to read up on how to boost your self-esteem, on how to be emotionally self-sufficient. You have to develop emotional tools to cope with feelings of insecurity or instability. You cannot expect that people will adjust to you all the time, or that your spouse will baby you forever. You have to realize that a relationship is a mutual effort, that you have to put in as much as you take out of it. You cannot give what you don’t have. So if you have such low self-esteem and low to zero love for yourself, you cannot expect to be able to have the emotional reserves with which to nurture your spouse.
So what is that bottom line to cheat-proof your marriage? Keep a healthy emotional climate in your partnership. This starts by keeping healthy expectations towards your spouse, which starts in keeping yourself emotionally secure, and keeping your self-esteem balanced.Written by - Visit Website