Cheat-proof Your Marriage through Communication
Communication is the catalyst in relationships. Be it family relationships, friendships, or romantic relationships, not only is communication the engine of all human transactions, it is also the lubricant that enables people to connect, and remain connected, with each other.
If you’ve noticed, the breakdown of a marriage starts when a spouse no longer tells the other what is happening to him or her, what his or her thoughts are, and whether there are some issues that need to be resolved. Typically, a divorce starts with one or both spouses clamming up. Once communication is shut down, the process of marital disintegration is set in motion.
The root of an affair is exactly that: communication breakdown. I am a firm believer that quite a number of couples who divorce still love each other. The only problem is that the communication between them has broken down to the point that either one is apprehensive of rejection, or pride makes them want to keep giving each other the cold shoulder. Because of this emotional climate in the marriage, either one of the couple may seek a friendship or a “shoulder to cry on”. And this is the usual storyline of most affairs. Dissatisfaction in the relationship leads one party to go out and seek escape, solace, or even merely a listening ear in someone else. Which could eventually lead to a dangerous liaison simply because the hurting party was too vulnerable at that time. This emotional vulnerability is the one thing that will make an otherwise committed spouse risk his or her marriage in favor of temporary thrills.
So how exactly do we avoid communication breakdowns in our marriages? Relationships need work and commitment, and it’s a daily “dying to self”. By this I mean that we have to make sacrifices to keep the marriage working.
But if you love your spouse, making things work will not be too difficult. You only have to nurture the relationship and each other, and make sure that you connect on a daily basis.
Below are a few suggestions on how to connect:
· Talk often.
· Do things together as often as you can. You can take walks together to get in exercise, or you can do chores together.
· Practice being comfortable in silence. Silences could become the most intimate parts of your relationship. This is when you could just savor the presence of each other without feeling the pressure to communicate verbally. Touch is the most healing of all human (nonverbal) communications, and it would really nurture your relationship if you touch often.
Aside from these practices that will nourish your relationship, make sure that you deal with your problems and issues as they arise. Nothing kills a relationship faster than wounds that have been allowed to fester. Never let offenses accumulate and turn into anger and resentment.
And lastly, enjoy each other. If you need help to enjoy each other again, then seek it. Counseling and marital therapists abound and they really help in teaching you tools how to handle relationships. And don’t forget reading up on self-help, like these resources from us. Knowledge could go a long way in cheat-proofing your marriage.
Good luck!
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