Raising Kids: Taming the Bully
How often do children get bullied by other kids? It is hard to pinpoint a bullying incident at pre-school level. But oftentimes, it happens, though not as violently or intentionally inflicted as the ones at school age. It can be pushing a classmate to get in front of the line, getting a seat, or eating someone else’s snack.
Pre-schoolers, naïve as they are, don’t know that what they’re doing is wrong. Based on educator Jean Piaget’s theory of Cognitive Development, children ages 0 to 2 years old are in the Sensorimotor Period. In this phase, children are egocentric – everything is “I” based: “This is my ball.” Or, “that chair is mine.” Thus, meeting other children for the first time is a challenge for them, as well as learning big words: “Share” and “Wait”.
Response of Parents
Both the parents’ and educators’ active participation in preventing or solving bullying incidents is essential.
An educator must immediately reprimand a child when he/she is bullying a classmate. Small bullies might grow up to be big bullies and not correcting the child’s attitude will greatly affect how he or she will handle his or her interaction with peers as grown-ups. It is also helpful to tell stories about getting along with classmates and the importance of friends.
Isolating the baby bully is not an option. If the bully must learn how to properly interact with his or her classmates, the others kids must also learn how to deal with him or her.
Correct Your Child
If your child is a bully or shows some bully attitudes, he or she must be corrected as soon as possible. Mommy and Daddy must get the whole story and explain that what the kid did was wrong. Also, ask why he or she did such a thing.
Active parenting and close coordination with the teachers are the best ways to handle the incident. Spending quality time with your child provides a sense of security and helps him or her cope with the stress of going to school and being with other children. Pre-school is a new world for your child and being out there all alone will definitely be a shock.
Some bullying incidents would be very trivial to an adult’s eyes – what’s the big deal with grabbing and eating somebody else’s food, or laughing at other children’s mistakes? These seem to be petty and, well, they’re just kids. Grabbing someone else’s snack today may turn into a bank robbery in the future; or laughing now may be a character attack when he or she is of adult age.
Correcting small problems at age three would definitely prevent humongous troubles in mid-life. A parent must not panic if a child behaves so. It can still be controlled. Helping their children deal with this now would be a favor if they do it for themselves. If a parent does not correct a toddler, there is no way he or she can help his or her delinquent juvenile as an adolescent.
Hope For Parents
Parents and teachers must work together to help kids who bully other children. They must definitely be present to assist and guide their kids to be good and kind-hearted individuals. It is wrong to pass on the responsibility of taking care of your children to caregivers and teachers. They can only do so much to help – the kids are yours, not theirs.
Bullying is just one of the things a child must learn to deal with. Trying to solve this problem alone is a big task for your child. A toddler’s job is just to play and learn as much as he or she can. Other forms of stress like bullying and taking care of themselves are too much to ask of a child. Being there for him or her, therefore, is a must.
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